Re: [Harp-L] sitting in



Wow!   I never knew harp playing was such a tough-man contest!  :-)
   
  I have never worried about (or been aware of) all these power relationships among bands and other harp players.  I never think about who might "outshine" whom.  I just play for the enjoyment.
   
  As for sitting in, I never ask.  In fact, I never take harps to a show unless I have been specifically asked to join the band on stage beforehand.  
   
  Let's be honest... Harp players have a HORRIBLE reputation among other musicians (particularly guitarists) because of bad players who Guss the band or pester for a sit-in.  Browse any guitar forum for horror stories about harp sit-ins.  I am sensitive to that, so I never sit in unless invited before the show.  I never ask.  
   
  And I never allow unknown harp players to sit in with my band.  When I've done it in the past it has usually been annoying at best and a disaster at worst.
   
  Jams are for sitting in.  If I want to sit in and show off, I hit one of several excellent blues jams in my area.  
   
  -Rick
   
   
   
  Will Vogtman <will_vogtman@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
  I almost never ask to sit in. 

The exception . . . .
Some nights, I just need to play to get rid of an emotional storm. In that case, I try to find some folks I know locally and explain the need to play. These folks are usually friends by association, so I don't really consider this sitting in.

At all other times, I wait to be ASKED to sit in. I have, on occasion, started conversations with performers fishing for the invitation (asking intelligent musical questions, or providing musically intelligent compliments--nothing more explicit). But, if the invitation does not come, I drop it. 

Personally, I find it rude to ask. I don't impose this on others. I am not offended when people ask to sit in.

Most of the time, when I do sit in, it happens like this . . . .

Someone in the crowd recognizes me and asks me if I have my harps with me. Then, that person (NOT at my suggestion) tells the band about me. If the band asks, I step up and play. At that point, I usually cut loose. If the band doesn't ask, it wasn't meant to be.

I have held back on a few occasions when I knew for a fact that I would/could outshine the host band. For example, I sat in with a band of local high school students twice this summer. (I'm a math teacher by day.) The experience was better than money can buy. The kids were flattered that I even showed up. The parents were blown away. I did just enough to teach a little--not embarrass. I've had a few other similar experiences i which I held back. 

Sitting in is delicate process. Neither party needs to be offended or hurt. In order for this to happen, the host band needs to be provided with a polite way to refuse. 

Many may say that this approach lacks balls. I try very hard not to have a need to exert my manhood in such a way. I have been too pushy/arrogant on two occasions that I can recall--once out of pure ignorance (I really thought I was in a room of players much better than me), once after a serious conference with Mr. Daniels. On both occasions, I out shined many of my peers. On both occasions, I regretted my actions within hours. 

Furthermore, I have already participated in activities that require said balls (football, track, wrestling). I found great satisfaction and release in dominating others. I don't regret participating in such a way. However, now that I have no physical outlet for such aggression, I have had to deal with a considerable amount of undirected anger. I love my music. I do not want my music to be a source of future anger and regret--EVER.

If you want to get into a "who's is bigger" contest, let's put away the mics, and roll out the mats!

Will 



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